Book Review: Sorry my Mental Illness Isn't Sexy Enough for You by Kay Garbett and Katja Pavlovna

You know how tricky it is to find compassionate and empathetic books about the more stigmatised kinds of mental health problems? Well, I've got some good news to share with you! Kay Garbett and Katja Pavlovna have written an important and illuminating book about their experiences of mental health difficulties, specifically borderline personality disorder (BPD) and schizotypal personality disorder (STPD).

Sorry My Mental Illness Is Not Sexy Enough for You: Lessons on Living with Personality Disorders and Mental Illness (That We Learned the Hard Way) by Kay Garbett and Katja Pavlovna, published by JKP, shares the perspectives and inner lives of its authors with immense generosity and honesty.

You may know Kay and Katja as the co-founders of the pioneering online space: 'Lives Not Labels'. They created Lives Not Labels as a space for people to share their stories of less talked about mental health difficulties or, as they aptly describe it, 'the "other side" of the mental health conversation.' On Lives Not Labels, they share: 'We know what it feels like to be stigmatised, discriminated against and misunderstood, whether people intend to do it or not. Either way, it feels pretty rubbish.'

Sorry My Mental Illness Isn't Sexy Enough for You: Lessons on Living with Personality Disorders and Mental Illness (That We Learned the Hard Way)

Sorry My Mental Illness Is Not Sexy Enough for You is undoubtedly a ground breaking book. I don't know of another book like it. Both writers present topics that are often misrepresented or misunderstood by the general public, such experiences of hospitalisations, mental health crises, delusions and traumatic life experiences. Content warnings are placed at the beginning of the book, as well as throughout the chapters, to help readers decide whether certain sections might be difficult for them.

Everything that Kay and Katja share is done to be supportive towards its readers, improve understandings and foster more compassion towards people with more stigmatised mental health difficulties.

The book is divided into four parts. The book features stories from Kay and Katja's lives, reflections on what they have both learnt over the years and their advice on how to support yourself. It concludes with some thoughts on what the future might hold for people with the BPD and STPD diagnoses. Katja wisely writes: 'We can disentangle our assumptions, prejudices and preconceptions from the labels we hear. We can examine why a label stirs up feelings of revulsion, hatred, fear or anger.'

This is a rich and broad book, written in an easy-to-understand way, which covers a lot of ground in under 300 pages. At the start of their book, Katja and Kay acknowledge 'how difficult it was to find stories about mental illness that resonated with [them]'. Their book is now here, as a gift of sorts, for those struggling with a lack of stories to relate to. So if you think you might relate to Kay and Katya, then I highly recommend you get hold of this book.

Sorry My Mental Illness Isn't Sexy Enough for You: Lessons on Living with Personality Disorders and Mental Illness (That We Learned the Hard Way) by Kay Garbett and Katja Pavlovna, is published by JKP and is out on 21 Oct. 2025.