Painful Emotions.

Update: 1.1.26

A very hard day. Surviving moment to moment only. It hurts.

Update 27.12.25

I'm doing better and have had some easier days since I wrote the below posts. I'm not going to delete theme as they document how I was feeling and I want others to know, if they feel the same, that they not not alone. you are not alone.

Dec 20th 2025

I am struggling and I can't have the things that would make me feel okay again. I can't have them. I have to find different ways to feel okay again.

Things that come from inside myself, that I do myself for myself, because right now I can't get what I want/need from other people.

I can't send a message or say the words. I just can't. Doing so could be a really bad idea. So here I am, trying to find the inner strength to do things to make myself feel a little bit okay for a moment.

I need to try DBT skills: wise mind, turning the mind and radical acceptance. Let's see if these make it feel slightly more bearable.

Dec 21st 2025

I'm having a very difficult and very painful time. I feel very low and very anxious. I'm struggling and it's got to be one of the loneliest feelings in the world. I'm wracked with guilt and shame. But most of all, loneliness.

Silent scream into an earless void. Unable to share that in most places for lots of reasons I've written about many times before.

Is there anything more isolating (more hidden?) than bleak-feeling days like these? Answers on a postcard please.

These feelings will lift, I suppose. It's just a matter of when, not if.

My big heart that I turned inside out for the millionth time...and why? Because my need for connection is bigger than my propensity for shame.

Trying not to hate on myself for core parts of who I am and how I let these go out into the world.

Thinking of all my readers and sending you all my kindest wishes.

Rosie x