No apology needed for distress

[TW This post mentions emotional abuse and sexual assault]


A while ago, I noticed that lots of people (including myself) say sorry for having emotional difficulties.


I've heard people apologise over and over again for distress caused by childhood emotional abuse, sexual assault, abusive relationships amongst other things.


I have apologised so many times to people I love, doctors, nurses, therapists and others for simply being in emotional pain.


I wrote 'No Apology' when I realised that even though I apologise for hurting, I haven't done anything wrong.



No Apology


She should not apologise

for the trauma

that formed her.


Or for the fire that warmed her,

burned her, turned her to ashes

and reignited her in the same breath.


Or for the million lives

and billion deaths

she fledged and shed as feathers.


Or to the divers whose

knees bled on stones.

It’s not her loss to console.


Maybe she is not one woman

but many women.

Maybe the way to understand her


is through her anger.

Her shipwrecked depths,

don’t require your anchor.


By Rosie Cappuccino.


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​© Talking About BPD

Rosie Cappuccino 2020

Please note that this site is not a substitute for professional medical/mental health advice.

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