Validation For Your Intense Emotions


[This post mentions self-harm and suicide, with no details....I never write details]


People with BPD have intense emotions and can become distressed very quickly. Life with this condition can feel confusing, frustrating, lonely and incredibly painful. There can be times when it being alive is such agony that it feels like there's no point in going on at all. Many people with BPD feel isolated by the force of their emotions, their strong thought pattern that can change from one minute to the next and their difficult-to-control urges.


Emotions rise and fall like waves. They never stay at a constant level.


As a result of my DBT and practising with my wonderful therapist, I'm now able to validate myself most of the time I feel distressed. I wanted to share that validation with you in the form of a script that you can read to yourself when you are in emotional pain and are in need of some validation. You can use this script word-for-word, or you can use it as a template and adapt it to suit your own needs.


[Please be aware that this script could be upsetting for you if you become distressed by hearing compassionate, caring words. It used to make me feel really sad to hear kind words as they made me feel a sense of worthlessness and also grief. If this is the case for you, approach this gently and stop if you need to.]


I am experiencing intense emotions right now and it really hurts. I know that my emotions can be incredibly strong and painful at times.


I realise that my emotions can rise quickly and make me very distressed. Sometimes my emotions can even feel so unbearable that they make me want to self-harm or make me feel suicidal.


I can remind myself that there is nothing wrong in having intense emotions. Some people feel more emotions more deeply than others.


I have been through so much in my life and at times it has been difficult for me to cope. I can see how hard that is.


I remember that emotions always rise to a peak and then fall again like waves. When I am having intense emotions, I sometimes forget that I ever felt differently about myself, my relationships and the world around me. It is important to remember that I have felt differently in my life, even if I cannot feel or believe this right now.


Although my emotions are urging me to act in a certain way or do something, I don't have follow the urge.


I am feeling under threat, but I can look at the facts to check whether the threat is real right now or whether I have been reminded of a past threat. If I follow my urge without checking the facts, then I might be unnecessarily acting on a past threat which is not actually happening right now.


I deserve to feel safe. I deserve to be respected. I deserve comfort. I deserve to recognise my positives.


I would love to know your thoughts about this script. Is it something you would try out and practise at all?


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​© Talking About BPD

Rosie Cappuccino 2020

Please note that this site is not a substitute for professional medical/mental health advice.

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