[TW, self-harm and suicidal thoughts]
Six months ago I began an eighteen month long Dialectical Behaviour Therapy programme. It consists of one group two hour session and one individual one hour session every week. I have needed DBT for years, but I have finally been able to access it (will write more about that in another post).
I find my individual therapist really helpful. She is really aware of the problems that people with BPD face and she is really informed about traumatic and difficult experiences that many people with BPD have faced in the past and may still experience.
I have tweeted a bit about how things have improved for me since starting DBT, and seeing as lots of people seem to be curious about what things have changed for me, I thought I would describe five things I can do now that I couldn't do six months ago.
1. I can experience my punishing internal voice and overwhelming emotions of disgust, anxiety, shame and sadness, and... pause. I don't act on the urges as quickly as previously.
2. I can receive a text at night that makes me anxious and not text back asking for reassurance, instead I am able to fall asleep and wait until after I've slept to assess the situation.
3. I can stay in a situation where I am distressed in front of other people and not automatically rush out of the room in fear.
4. I am able to do the 'opposite action' skill to try to regulate my emotional response. I wasn't able to do that much before.
5. I can experience my punishing voice and not always believe in- maybe just for a second.
I hope that I continue to make progress. I just wish DBT was available to everyone who would find it helpful.