Friendship By Letters: Why I Love Having a Penpal
If you haven't already noticed, two of my greatest loves in life are my friends and anything made of paper , so for me friendship by...
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I write and talk about my life with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, known as BPD.
BPD is one of the most highly-stigmatised and contested diagnoses in psychiatry, so many people don't feel safe or comfortable openly sharing their experiences. About ten years ago though, I started writing—and then also speaking— about my experiences, even when people told me to stay silent.
People with BPD are misunderstood, misrepresented and treated with unfair coldness. I want a society in which people with this diagnosis are understood by others as well as themselves, are treated with warmth, respect and feel positively about who they are.
blog
Nov 29
The Diagnosis Debate: Should The BPD Diagnosis Go?
I've had to grapple with how I feel about the BPD diagnosis over the years. In writing my second book, I've had to interrogate my...
Nov 23
Writing a Blog: Why I Do It & My Questions For You If You Want To Begin
After I finished my first book, I thought I would archive this blog and say goodbye. I felt I would be at the end of my road with it and...
Nov 21
'How Did You Write (and Publish) a Book?' And Other Book-Related FAQs
There are very, very few books about borderline personality disorder written by people with lived experience. In fact, my book Talking...
Nov 17
'There's another field I see: by your light.'— Virginia Woolf. A Few Thoughts on Friendship
One of the themes that has been taking up a lot of space in my mind at the moment is friendship. What makes a good friend? How can I be a...
Nov 16
Meeting Others with Similar Experiences: Thoughts On My 'Feeling positively about yourself when you have a BPD diagnosis' Event
Today was the first in my series of online events for people with, or who relate to, a diagnosis of BPD (regardless of how they feel...
Nov 7
Who Speaks? Who Listens? Jonny Walker's 'Remaining Human as an Educator'
I recently had the good fortune of being at one of Jonny Walker's 'Remaining Human as an Educator' workshops. Jonny Walker is a...
Nov 3
"I don't know why it's so hard to just…say it." Depictions of Mental Health Problems In Heartstopper Season 2
I wish the Netflix drama Heartstopper had been around when I was a teenager. If you've watched Season 2 of the show, then you will know...
Nov 3
Most Days Are Good Days, But Today I Feel Awful
Today I feel awful. Usually when I feel awful I can summon up the energy, determination (or whatever quality it is), that helps me make...
Nov 2
Stop press. You can be a great parent *And* have a BPD Diagnosis
You can be a great parent and have a diagnosis of BPD. There, I said it. You heard it here first. My little girl is nearly two and she...
Oct 30
Did I Embarrass Myself Again? Or Is Everything Actually Okay (Again)?
Every time something happens to make me feel embarrassed, such as feeling like I 'overshared' or said something 'exposing' that made...
Oct 28
Problem Solving With Imaginary Friends: Seeing Things From Different Perspectives
A few weeks ago, I wrote about an unusual coping strategy I have for anxiety: the 'worry hierarchy' on my fridge . Today I'm going to...
Oct 19
How 'Arts In Health' Helped me to 'Be Myself'
Sometimes a person says something, a few words either off-the-cuff or perhaps more thought through, that takes root in my mind. 'Just be...
Oct 15
5 DBT Skills For Feeling Fragile
I'm struggling a bit this week with all my usual culprits: embarrassment, feeling exposed, social anxiety in certain situations,...
Oct 11
'A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow': My relationship with Sleep
The quotation 'a ruffled mind makes a restless pillow', attributed to the author Charlotte Bronte, is actually uttered by the...
Oct 7
A Wildly Different Life Is Possible: A Trip Into My Old Sketchbooks
A little while ago, I wrote about my lifelong obsession (I think that word is apt and not an overstatement) with notebooks and...
Oct 3
What stories can I tell now? Nine Haikus for National Poetry Day
I spent half an hour tonight writing these nine haikus for National Poetry Day. If you're not familiar with haikus, don't worry. They are...
Oct 3
Living By Your Values: Russ Harris' 'Values-Guided Action'
I first encountered Russ Harris' concept of 'values guided action' about seven years ago and I found that it related to several of my...
Sep 29
Online Event: Feeling positively about yourself when you have a diagnosis of BPD
It can be really lonely, and even painful, to be diagnosed with a stigmatised and contested diagnosis like borderline personality...
Sep 22
What Threads Run Through Your Life? Go With Your fascinations!
A few years ago, sitting on an awkwardly-shaped plastic chair in a Medical Humanities seminar, I had one of those life-changing moments...
Sep 17
Shame, WhatsApp & Why I Don't Live Under a Rock Even Though Sometimes I Want To
Earlier this year I wrote a post called 'Why I'm No Longer Ashamed' about why I'm not ashamed of having a BPD diagnosis. As I explained...
Sep 16
Hey, Can We Talk (About That Deeply Personal Thing You Wrote)?
'Just because I write about something doesn't mean I want to have a conversation about it.' — Olivia Petter speaking in 'The Power of...
Sep 12
The 'Worry Hierarchy' On My Fridge & How It's Reducing My Anxiety
A couple of weeks ago my husband pointed out to me, in his characteristically humorous way, that my worries are on a cycle. If it's not...
Sep 3
'I Don't Want To Be Seen As Incapable': Why I Often Mask My Mental Health Problems
Sometimes I pretend I feel absolutely fine when I feel so terrible all I can think about is how much I hate myself and how much I deserve...
Aug 30
Hopeful, positive role models for BPD in the Media
I know just one TV documentary about BPD by a person in the public eye, 'Me and the Voice in My Head' with Joe Tracini on Channel 4. I...
Aug 23
FAQ: 'What Helps You Live An Enjoyable Life With BPD?'
It's only natural that people who hear about my experiences are curious about what helps me feel better and how I've learnt to live with...
Aug 22
My Lifelong love of Journalling, Diary Writing & Scrapbooks
I've been thinking of writing a blog post like this for a long time (I'm talking years). Every time I considered doing it, I knew I...
Aug 20
Reviewing 'The Queer Mental Health Workbook: A Creative Self-Help Guide Using CBT, CFT and DBT'
My brilliant publisher JKP sent me The Queer Mental Health Workbook: A Creative Self-Help Guide Using CBT, CFT and DBT by Dr Brendan J....
Aug 20
My Most Accurate Description of the Highs and The Lows
It took me many years to get an accurate diagnosis for my mental health problems. I spent a long time (secretly and anxiously) worrying...
Aug 12
10 (Weird & Wonderful?) Things I Do To Balance My Unruly Emotions
(This post mentions food). Keep instant noodles in the house at all times. Instant noodles are a quick microwavable form of therapy for...
Aug 10
'I See Why You Feel That Way, Even Though I Think You're Wrong!' Myths About Validation
One of the most common confusions I have encountered over the years is about the concept of validation. Validation is a hot topic in BPD...
Aug 9
Know thyself. And believe thyself!
What I haven't always been able to do though with this self-knowledge is believe it. Over the years I have been tangled up...
Aug 6
How Can Healthcare Professionals Create Emotional Safety?
Communication within healthcare, both physical and mental healthcare, is a passion of mine. What could be more personal than an...
Jul 21
My New Book Q&A
I'm about a third of the way through the first draft of my new book. Seeing as my first book was way more of a success than I ever...
Jul 18
I Still Struggle (A Lot) Sometimes
Please note this post mentions self-harm and suicidal thoughts. I may be a mum to my beautful daughter, partner to my amazing husband, a...
Apr 21
Being a Teacher with BPD: How & Why It Works for Me
Being a teacher can be one of the most stressful career choices, but it can also be one of the most rewarding. It has taken me a while to...
Mar 23
Happiful Article: 5 Tips for People Who Are Easily Embarrassed
My article '5 Tips for People Who Are Easily Embarrassed' is in the latest issue of Happiful Magazine. Ironically, my complimentary copy...
Mar 9
'I Would Never Have Guessed': When People Are Surprised I Have BPD
I am less guarded than I've ever been about revealing my diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This is probably, in part, due to...
Mar 7
When My Little Girl Cries
I find it upsetting when my daughter cries. I find it difficult to see and hear. My instinct is to do what I can, as quickly as I can, to...
Mar 2
'Bear': A Poem
I've had a whole bunch of poems not doing much for years and years. I polished this one up a little bit recently and thought I would...
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